A Cherry Is a Grape Is a Nut

It’s Hump Day, dear readers — and we thought we’d help get your mid-week workday started with a little wake-up post.

How’s this for a morning jolt?

For the hockey-deprived, this (ahem) colourful gentleman is Don Cherry, colour commentator (there was no way around that …) on the CBC’s "Hockey Night in Canada."

L’assemblage burst through American TV screens last Friday, when Cherry ("Grape" to his fans) debuted on ESPN. But don’t think he reserved his Pepto-Bismal-pink pukefest for the occasion — Mr. Cherry/Grape has made his name with such fruitcake ensembles. (Before you click here and here and here, you might dig out some dramamine.)

Horrifying as these get-ups are, don’t they also have a sort of creepy-clown vibe? When so much attention is meant to be directed to his clothes, one wonders what that attention is being detoured away from. Scarily Dickensian, don’t you think?

Cherry’s working the last two rounds of the NHL playoffs. But word is that the Worldwide Leader’s regular hockey man, Barry Melrose, is thinking of returning to coaching — and that Mr. Cherry/Grape could take The Mullet‘s place.

Desperation, dear readers, is a state in which you find yourself willing to put up with one clown if it means steering clear of another.

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