It’s been a while since I’ve shared one of my many neuroses, but a recent purchase by one of San Francisco’s most discerning customers has forced me to weigh in on a purchase of his: a new laptop bag. I shared many of my thoughts on the various business case options we offer, and he ended up with a stellar choice: Mulholland Brothers’ Deerskin Slim Laptop (pictured). I could make a very strong case that this is the finest bag we have to offer based on style and durability, but I’ll do that another day.
Which leads to my neuroticism. The death knell for this customer’s last bag was a broken shoulder strap, which we can probably all relate to. Except I never use a shoulder strap if I’m in a suit or sport coat. I think of a leather strap crushing the shoulders of a nice suit jacket or sport coat the same way hardcore animal activists think about eating meat: it’s cruel and inhumane. For gentlemen like this customer, who have personally met the tailors that will hand-sew their bespoke suits, the only thing that has prevented me from losing all faith in humanity is the hope that he only uses a shoulder strap when sans coat. This isn’t like putting ketchup on a Charlie Trotter steak; this is like walking into the freezer and grinding up the filet into hamburger meat. Decorum is the only thing keeping me from making references to clubbing baby seals.
I understand the enormous benefits of the shoulder strap, and I use one regularly with my weekend bag when not wearing a suit or sportcoat, so I’m hoping that our discerning customer just wants the option to attach the shoulder strap when he’s dressed more casually.
In all seriousness, though, if this customer says a suit will survive a shoulder strap, I may need to consider getting over this particular neurosis.