So much to be embarrassed about. I will be the first to admit that I’m a pretty easygoing moviegoer. While I like the occasional art house flick, I’m even more easily suckered into a blockbuster. Naturally, I was a huge fan of Iron Man — Tony Stark is everything I want be minus the narcissism and military-industrialism (all you have left is the brilliant engineer, the home in Malibu, the R8 and the Rolls Royce Phantom). So it was with great anticipation that I bought tickets to Iron Man 2 earlier today, and felt lucky I was able to snatch up some tickets before the show sold out.
Unfortunately, due to dinner running late, we got to the theater with just 10 minutes to spare, and I expected to see a line out the door of people clamoring for the best seats. But no line at all. $#!^ – everyone must have gotten there really early and EVERYONE is already seated! Actually, no. As we opened the theater doors, we burst out laughing at the fact that there were maybe 20 other people in a pretty large theater. Probably another 20 or so made it in before the lights went down. Clearly, we must have missed the poor reviews.
To make matters worse, the previews, for movies that I don’t care to recall the names of, were for movies that involved so much mysticism, CGI and green screens, that they made Iron Man 2 seem like a documentary. And of course, half of them were going to be in 3D. When Shrek 3 looks the most "life-like" of all the previews, you know you’re getting old.
And as if that wasn’t punishment enough, because I had come straight from meetings, I was still wearing the 3-piece suit I wore to the store in the morning. Now, I thought this might turn out to be a badge of honor since I could have sworn Tony Stark wore a 3-piece in the original; I half-expected audience members to mistake me for the superhero. But instead, the opposite happened — the quasi-villian/Stark-wannabe, Justin Hammer (Sam Rockwell), wore exclusively 3-piece suits throughout the movie. I was about to order another custom 3-piece, but now I may have to go double-breasted on the next one (see Plummer, Christopher in Inside Man).
In the spirit of Tony Stark, then, this review has been all about me, and I haven’t even mentioned the movie. It was okay. Definitely not as good as the first, but solid, mindless entertainment. While we occasionally show Iron Man in the store on one of the flat screens, I can safely say I’d rather watch Elf for the 4,925th time than Iron Man 2 a second time. Yes, the holidays can’t come soon enough…