We’ll probably watch the Super Bowl on Sunday–you know, for the wings and the commercials. But seriously, we’ve had our dreams dashed by the nation’s most ignominious birds these past three years (by the Ravens in Super Bowl 47; by the Sea Pigeons in last year’s NFC championship; and by the Sea Pigeons, who put the final nail in the coffin of a bad year on December 14, 2014.) Between those sullen affairs and watching this year’s Niners flail around in a cesspool of locker room conflict that culminated in the firing of Coach Harbaugh, we’re feeling more deflated than a New England football.
Oh well, next year we’re bringing it all back home. Superbowl 50 (aka L) is slated for 2/7/16 in Santa Clara, and we intend to have a little skin in the game next year. Plus the sliver lining–we won’t be led by a guy who buys pleated parachute khakis at Walmart. Until then, a couple of accoutrements to weather the off-season: